By: Lilly

It was a long time ago, when I first saw him.

I was young. I was a curious thing, as children often are; full of vigor and spice, and an unending thirst for knowing. So, it was no wonder I was restless. I rarely sat still, my legs would bounce when I rested and I would always spring at the chance to run wild like an animal- sprinting across grass and tile floors alike.

So, there was no wonder that I learned to sneak out. My mother was a deep sleeper, and my father was gone for days at a time. When it was far past my curfew, I would shim my window open- breaking the latched seal and then propping it open. I could just about fit my shoulders through, the cold windowsill digging into my chest as I wiggled forward. But that was all I needed- just that one breach, and I was free.

When I was out, I would run. I would run and run, forever into the night. The sky was often heavy with stars, like thousands of grapes on a canopy of vines. The starlight and dim glow from houses far in the distance were all I needed to find my way. I was swift, my feet digging against grass as I plowed down hills and lawns, unburdened by worry or concern for my well being.

And I knew where I was going. I always did. There was a beach, not far from my home. Grass slowly parted, turning into stone and sand. Poking through the sand were long leaves like wisps of hair. At the time, I would imagine these blades to be akin to fur; long and soft strands attached to the bodies of behemoths buried beneath the earth.

Catching myself, I barely had halted from spilling down a hill, a slope rolling downwards towards a soft sand beach. My knees had been scraped up by the harsh grains, yet I hardly had cared at the time. I was laughing, grinning, all cozied in my joy- unaware of any pain or danger.

I would always come here, it was a special place to me. Across the ocean waters, the waves seemed to glisten with an ethereal light. It looked like the stars were both high above me, and deep below me; the sea was like a sky of its own.

That day, like every day I ran here, I sat and watched the lights twinkling across the foam. Far out there, like little toys floating in bathwater, there were boats. They would come across the sea, and as they pulled closer to harbor they drifted past this secluded spot; and I always loved to watch their shadowed shapes cut through the night.

My father was why I loved this. He was a fisherman, and only came home in the latest of hours. If I watched at the distance, I perhaps could see him. I would wait so still,  as if a single movement would alert the world to my presence, hoping to see on the horizon that familiar glow. It was always distinct, an older glow, a pale amber of an antiquated vessel, gentle compared to the hot white of the future, fluorescent headlights that burned the night. 

As I sat, feet buried in the sand as I crossed my legs, I had watched the pulse of the waves. They were foamy, and with every sloshing movement they seemed to pull further back. It was a low tide, and formed among the sand and rocks were divots of seawater. 

Glancing over at one of these pools, I noticed that they weren’t empty. Already they had begun to fill with sea life and flotsam. Now, curious as I was, I couldn’t leave this well enough alone. 

I needed to see those creatures up close.

Shakily rising from my spot in the slimy and wet sand, feeling it clump into my shoes and under my pant legs, I stumbled off to the closest tidepool. This one was small, it had been around the size of a person, if they had curled themselves up into a fetal ball. I loomed over the pool, and peered into its murky surface. All was still, but only for a moment; within a heartbeat, there was a sudden flash of movement.

A tiny golden fish, as long as my thumb and barely an inch wide, had flittered out of the sandy murk. It moved erratically, twitching and shifting as it swam in panicked circles. I watched as it turned itself, again and again, in circles; it moved with the motions of terror. My heart was like a rock, falling so deep into my chest that my stomach shuddered.

With a single finger, I reached out. Dipping it into the cool water, a shiver went down my spine; it was like ice. The golden fish, glistening like gilded leaf, stopped it’s frenzied thrashing and every so slowly swam its way over to my hand. There was an oddly mammal like quality to it, how it curiously brushed against my digit like a cat.

I cooed softly, a soft sound half under my breath. “There, there. You’re ok now.” I murmured, tone low and slow like how you would speak to a child. I cupped my hand in the water, and without hesitation, the tiny animal swam up through the gaps in my fingers, and almost curled up in the cusp of my palm.

That feeling, in that moment I felt so very large. I was holding an entire life in my palm, one that I could so easily shatter like a thousand shards of glass. Yet, I didn’t falter. Bringing the cupped hand up to my chest, I quickly rose to my feet. I didn’t want to move slowly, and put the poor thing through any more terror than necessary, yet I moved with just enough care that I kept the water entirely in my palm.

And I returned it to the sea. With one swift movement, the water gushed from my palms, and the glimmering little body splashed into the waves. For a moment, I was mystified, dazzled by the aray of luminescence left behind in its wake; before it darted off, leaving me there behind.

I thought to myself, standing there alone at the shore. There had to be other animals stranded from the tides. It wasn’t all altruistic reasons I wanted to see them; I was both kindhearted and curious- it was a self serving action, wanting to explore the tide pools. 

Before I could turn around, a sudden and sharp crunch echoed from behind me. Again and again, the sand crunched; the unmistakable sound of footsteps.

Ice filled my veins, and I froze, stiff as a statue. The figure behind me continued its approach, until stopping meer inches behind me. I remember the feeling of its breath down my neck, cold and wet, so clearly; it was like a vaporus slime pressing down on me.

I will never forget what I saw when I turned around. 

A man looming over me. More giant than person, easily over twice my height. He was broad shouldered, built like a boulder and with a physique to match. His face was shrouded in a hood, and his entire body was draped in this slick black cloak. It smelled of fish oil and brine, and I could see glintings of gold in the seams.

At that moment, I was so small. Smaller than anything else in the world. I was a child, and he was a giant. The figure huffed and stared at me silently for a long time. Agonizing moments where I was too afraid to even breathe. But then, he spoke. His voice was a warbling sound, deep and gurgling but still sharp to my ears. He reached out with a hand, and pressed a sharp fingertip into my ribs. His voice huffed out in a low rumble. “ Why are you here? This is hallowed ground.” 

There was such an authority to his tone. These were not the words of a madman, or some delusioned preacher. As young as I was, even I knew I did not belong where I was. But I was foolhardy, reckless, and perhaps I didn’t have sense back then. I responded sharply. 

“ Why are you here?”

He was taken aback, reeling and stepping away from me. There was a manner about him that seemed to shift. He stood straighter, stopping his hunching over me, and let out a harsh sound almost like a snarl. “ Bold words, young one. But I’ll give you an answer. I am looking for my children. You would not understand. Now. Leave.” 

But I did understand, in a naive sort of way. Was this man a father? I knew that my own father, if he came home to look for me and found I was missing, would panic in an instant. I looked up at the man, eyes wide and shimmering. “ May I help you look for your children?”

Without warning, the man huffed, and curled his shoulders up in an arch. “ How dare you even ask?! You have no place helping me look- you wouldn’t even know what you’re looking for!” His voice was thundering, roaring, as he lashed out. Yet he quickly stopped, and seemed to take a deep breath in through his nose, as if he was smelling the air. He glanced down at my hands. “... you already have been helping them. I can smell it.” It was as if a switch had been turned in his head, and his anger melted away. 

I was quiet, despite his yelling. I was in too much of a shock to fully process my surroundings. I just noticed his gaze drift to my hands, and tentatively curled and uncurled my fingers. I had helped nobody, as far as I knew. Except for one thing. Closing my fists into balls, feeling how they were still slick with brine and fishy slime coat, I asked the man another question. “ You mean the fish? “ 

“ You’re wise, for a human. Of course I mean the fish. “ The cloaked man tilted his head as he spoke, craning his neck as he observed me. “ All  life in the ocean is my family. You would do well to remember that. I don’t often accept offers of help from people like you, I trust your kind less than anything else in the world; but perhaps I’ve grown soft. Very well. You can help me.”

At that time, I had been oblivious to the meanings of his words; I hadn’t questioned what he was or why he spoke the way that he did, I had only eagerly offered to assist. Looking back, I think it was this foolishness that saved me. 

I nodded at the man, and stumbled forward, nearly rushing ahead of him in my excitement. There was no fear or danger in my brain, after all, and I was eager to offer help in this very serious matter. “ Sir, how did your children get lost? The tides aren’t usually this far out?” I stopped in my tracks to ask him a question.

He snorted, and just continued walking. “ Don’t stop. We don’t need to waste time. We can discuss things as we make progress.” The man scoffed at me, and brushed past my body, his warm and slimy coat scraping against my arm “ The tides have been changing for a long time. I can only do so much to stop it. The winds are changing, the world is warming. It’s a drastic shift, even if your kind refuses to notice.”

I didn’t respond, instead just continuing to walk and absorbing his words into my mind. They seeped deeply into me, and I greedily accepted their knowledge.

 We made our way to the next tide pool, and the man instructed me in how to pick up small crabs without them pinching. His guidance was stern and yet silent, as he stared at the gentle movements of my hands.

He rolled up his sleeves as he worked, and I saw more of his skin. It was a strange color, a slick grey. It was like the marbling of fish scales, or perhaps the dark smooth gray of slate. As the moonlight glistened over his body, I saw his veins in his wrists. They bulged and pulsed with an eerie blue color.

The man cleared his throat, noticing my staring. “ Come on now. To the next. I can see you have questions, and I would like to inform you that asking them is not in your best interests. “ He stood up, after fishing the last crab out of the pool and placing it onto the sand, and walked away- not even waiting for me to stand up.

I hurried after him, and hardly acknowledged his warning. I kept pace with him, and asked a question despite his insistence that I did not. “ So, what are you? Can you tell me? Please?” I was blunt and forward, not even hiding my desires.

A low chuckle slipped from his mouth, and he looked away from me. “... You have less sense than you should. But, very well. I’ll give you a hint. What do you know of myths and fairytales? Don’t answer that. Just think on it. Make your own conclusion for all I care.” He seemed to be relaxing, his prior gruffness fading into the background of his tone.

I thought on his answer as we worked at the next pool. He showed me how to pick up urchins without being stung by their needles. I gathered up urchins and placed them in his arms, all the while pondering the riddle like answer. 

I supposed that in many stories, everything was alive. From rocks to the sky, from the stars to the seas. I also thought about monsters. In legends, humans and monsters often were at wits end with each other- fighting bloodily until only one kind remained.

But I didn’t get the chance to share my ponderings as the man stood up again. This time, I took his cue to keep moving, and followed him to the border of the ocean, where he tossed the armful of urchins back into the sea.

We made our way to the final pool, and as we walked, I asked the man another question. A harrowing sort of question, one that should never be asked. I looked up at the man, and asked him “ Why don’t you trust people?”

He froze in place, going completely still. I barely avoided running into him, stopping just short of tumbling. He faced me, and rolled one sleeve up as far as he could. His arm was littered with scars, from pinprick holes to deep wound lacerations. The most notable was a long and twisting scar, which looked like rope had torn into his arm, and left a gouge embedded in his skin.

He groaned, a noise between a growl and a sigh.  “ You humans. You’re a greedy lot. You take and you take, and you give no care for the world around you. Anything you do is only done if you gain something from it. “ He turned, and glanced up at the sky “ or perhaps, not all of you are like that. I’ve been proven wrong before.”

I reached out, and placed a hand on his arm.

 “ I’m sorry people hurt you.”

He flinched, but didn’t respond. He was silent for a moment, but didn’t back away from my touch. Eventually, we both rose from the sand, and made our way to the final tidepool. This time, we worked in unison, in silence, as we pulled hiding octopi out from underneath rocks.

He let his hood down as he worked, and I could now see his hair. It was thick and black, and perpetually wet. It looked cold to the touch, although I didn’t dare reach out and check for myself. There was something about it, though, that was so very off putting. It seemed to almost wriggle, writhing like the tentacles that I felt currently in my hands.

But we finished our work in silence. I had realized I bothered the man enough already. We took the octopi to the ocean, and the man looked at me as I released my armful back into the surf. He nodded, and made a soft sound of approval. “ You’re a good one, I think. You have a good soul.”

I opened my mouth to ask a question, but he continued to talk, ignoring my gesture. “ You know, you’re lucky. There’s a goodness in you. Keep that safe.” He shrugged “ or don’t. I can’t choose what you do. I only act to protect who I love. To protect my home.”

“ Thank you, sir. For letting me help. I uh… I’m glad I could help your family.” My voice was just a tremble, but I spoke from my heart. I knew at that moment that this man was not just a man. He was something far beyond me. His approval was worth its weight in gold.

Slowly, the man slipped out of his cloak, revealing his body more fully. It was a casual movement, despite what was revealed. A tangle of dark grey tentacles wrapped around his chest, thick and powerful things that seemed to weave themselves around his limbs and body. They pulsed with blue striping, which seemed to almost glow in the night.

The monstrous man held his cloak out, and folded it in his arms. He then reached out, and handed it off to me. “ A gift. For your trouble. You have my blessings. As long as you keep this, the ocean and its children will never harm you.” He paused, and corrected himself “ My children and I will never harm you.”

I blinked, but before I could even process his words, he stepped out into the waves. Wading up to his waist, he turned and faced me one final time, and bowed at me. I bowed back, returning the sign of respect, and then watched as his body seemed to change. He melted, spilling into seawater like he was liquid himself. In an instant, he was gone, becoming indistinguishable with the ocean itself.

I stood there, alone on the beach. Promising myself I would never forget the day I met the ocean itself.

And once again, the worlds of sea and man were separate.